Wednesday, April 8, 2009
A man struggles to get his cat outside before it coughs up a hairball, but the cat puts up a fight.
A man sleeping in his bed is woken at 3am by a retching sound. He is reluctant to rise at first, but his eyes bulge when he realizes his cat is hacking up a hairball. He stumbles around in the dark, tired and groggy, before turning on a light and discovering the retching cat. The cat pauses, looks at the man and demurely wraps its tail close to its body. The man frowns and turns to walk away. The retching resumes and the man scrambles for the cat, trying to get it outside before it can vomit in the house. The cat is obviously reluctant to be forced outside and clings to anything nearby. The cat grabs the wall as the man pulls its distended body, leaving claw marks through the wallpaper. The cat grabs the back of a chair, ripping the fabric open as the stuffing spills out of the seams. The man reaches the door and the cat is clinging to his face. He opens the door and attempts to pry the cat off of his face. While tugging, the cat catches hold of the man's shirt and tears it off before being tossed outside. The man closes the door in a huff. Fade out to the man back in his bed sleeping and he is woken by insistent meowing. The cat yowls for some time as the man covers his head with his pillow, trying to go back to sleep. The man finally stomps to the door to allow the cat re-entry, and once across the threshold, the cat promptly pukes up a hairball on the carpet, then rubs against the man's legs.
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I feel like there needs to be some reason why the cat refuses to be outside. That said, perhaps this could all be taking place during a heavy rain or a snowstorm. The puking on the carpet is all just revenge for the owner submitting the cat to being in those unfavorable conditions. Other than that, I think it's all pretty solid.
ReplyDeleteHow about in addition to the hariball, the cat is simply annoying and the man can't get to sleep. The cat is hacking hairballs, mkaing noises, jumping on the bed and unto the man causing his annoyance. The man gets up in frustration, but it's dark.
ReplyDeleteIn the early portion of his struggle in the dark, the man accidentally steps on the cats' tail resulting in a loud screech. I like the idea of trying to put the cat outside and we should keep all the imagery of the cat's reluctance. If we make it raining outside torrentially with lightning and thunder, that would justify the cats' reluctance. Once outside, he continues to be a nuisance. Meowing,coughing up more hairballs, etc. The man still can't get to sleep so he concedes to let the cat in. Once inside, the cat remains a nuisance. This goes on for a bit longer when the man finally gives up and comes up with a compromise. (At this point--not sure what that could be.)
A man sleeps peacefully in the comfort of his bed only to be woken up with a loud meowing and scratching on his bedroom door. After a minute of trying to ignore his pesky cat and stuffing his head under his pillow he begins to hear a rather unpleasant sound. He hops out of bed and runs out of his room as he tries to quickly get his cat outside as he coughs up a hairball. In his attempt to run outside the man trips over various items and gets held back by his cat clawing into the furniture and walls not wanting to go outside. Finally he reaches the door and swings it open while tossing his cat outside and getting pelted with heavy snowflakes. He slams the door, rubs his hand together in a satisfied manner and walks back to his cozy warm bed. Five minutes later his cat claws at the front door in an attempt to come back inside, reluctantly the man gets up and walks to the front door to let his annoyingly needy pet back inside. Once inside the cat pukes up a hairball right next to the man’s foot, rubs against his leg and pounces away leaving the man blank faced and staring down at his foot.
ReplyDeleteI think with this story, the best thing is to keep it simple. I really like how Naomi has it laid out. I especially think we need to keep the emphasis on the point that there is no warning when the cat starts making the retching noise and the man takes a second to recognize what is happening, then bugs out. With any other character, I would say that the motivation needs to be clearly laid out, but with a cat, there isn't ever any clear motivation and I think that actually adds to the comedy of the situation.
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