Saturday, April 11, 2009

A man working late tries to save his files before going to sleep, but his computer gives him multiple problems.

A man, short and balding, in his fifties, is nodding in and out of sleep at his desk. He stumbles over to bed to lay down where his eyes flinch open before a note reminding him to save. He sighs and returns himself from bed to his desk. At his desk he notices first with a sweet smile a picture of him with his two children out on a sunny day. He then reflexively taps Ctrl-S when he notices the “S” key is conspicuously missing. He looks on his desk, below his desk, stares blankly and gives up. He reaches then for his mouse, it scoots forward. He reaches again. It scoots forward. He quickly attempts to snatch it, and the mouse scurries off the desk across the floor. He gives chase and catches it by the tail (so to speak) just as it was retreating into a cereal box. But as he is lifting it up, a group of mini computer mice come out of the cereal box and seem to look pleadingly up at him. He gently lays the mouse down near the mini computer mice who scurry together to the entrance of the cereal box, and come to rest as if cuddling together. Near the sleeping mice, he notices the missing “S” key on the floor, grabs it, and returns to his desk hurriedly. He excitedly sets the “S” key into the keyboard, there is a pause, then all the keys explode out of the keyboard around him. He is freezes in frustration. His shoulders begin to rise as in rage. He then looks over at the photograph again, breathing deeply, slowly, calming, and after he calms enough, he holds the picture in his hand, still breathing, now with that sweet smile on his face, and he begins to feel the warmth of the picture upon his hand and face. He nods decidedly to himself and makes his way to the door. He pauses before the door, puts his hand on the door knob. He swallows, then looks around his apartment nervously when he notices the reminder to save again. He looks relieved as he nods with remembrance at his unaccomplished task. With determination, he storms over to the sleeping mice, but when he reaches down, they look up in menace, and he backs away slowly. He returns to his desk and begins searching for each key in order to repair the keyboard

4 comments:

  1. This is a very interesting take on the story, much like a sleep deprived hallucination. I think it could be very successful as such, but needs a bit of streamlining. I think it could also benefit from a strong conclusion. I'm not sure as to why he would be relieved thinking of his unaccomplished task.

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  2. Oh, yeah, him being relieved might not work. I said that because I imagined him being a delusional/reclusive sort, so that he was relieved to have an excuse to not go outside. But maybe he'd just become determined again. Good point.

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  3. The idea gets a little confusing. Is he hallucinating the whole time? Or is he in reality for some of it? The mouse idea is great, but it is very surreal. Where as the keyboard seems almost slapstick. Could the keys melt or something? I think the metaphor of malfunction, should be very suggestive. And maybe instead of the character trying to leave, various parts of the computer can keep "disapearing" in the same surreal fashion. I am kinda thinking of Dali's paintings. Maybe in the same regard, the backgrounds themselves can become very crazy. Oceans in the windows, landscapes behind doors sort of thing. Hope I didn't go to off my rocker here.

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  4. This is really cool. I can see all kinds of imagery morphing in and out of the main animation. The piece lends itself to plenty of creativity.

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